You’re scrolling through your DMs and you see it, someone’s been binging your content at 2 a.m., accidentally tapping your “want more info” button, watching every single story you post.

They’re interested. You know they’re interested.

But when it comes time to actually ask for the sale? You freeze up. You don’t want to sound pushy. You don’t want to be that person sending CVS-receipt-long messages that are all about you.

So you say nothing. And they slip away.

Here’s the thing: closing sales in the Instagram DMs doesn’t have to feel gross or salesy. It doesn’t require a script or some bold, aggressive pitch.

The close actually happens before you even step into that conversation.

Let me explain.

Why Most People Think Closing Sales Is Salesy (And Why They’re Wrong

Most service-based business owners think that closing the sale is some kind of bold, salesy tactic you need to master.

But here’s the truth: if you’ve already read the room, had the conversations, and know exactly what stage they’re in, when you actually bring up business, it doesn’t come off as salesy. It comes off as serving them.

This is when you step into your actual calling as a service-based business owner and serve with confidence.

The close happens naturally because you already know so much about them that every conversation you have leads you one step closer to asking for the sale.

The 3 Things You Need to Close Confidently in the DMs (Without a Script)

1. Social Proof

I can almost guarantee that you’re not sharing testimonials. You’re not sharing video testimonials, screenshots, stories, voice notes, nothing.

And people get flooded with information every single day. They need to see that you can actually take them from where they are now to where they want to be.

Transformation is the most important part of your message.

When you start sharing the transformation of others, you start to realize: Hey, wow. I really helped this person go from zero to doubling their income. That was me. I did that.

You start to gain more confidence. And the more you share, the more it helps people make that decision, because they’ve seen proof that you can and will help them transform their business (and sometimes even their lives).

But here’s the thing: sharing testimonials isn’t bragging.

I know a lot of you don’t share them because you’re afraid you’ll come off as braggy. Or you get imposter syndrome and think, What if people think I’m faking?

Listen, you changed someone’s life. Own that. Step into that authority and say, “I helped do that.”

No one can step into that authority for you. You’re going to have to do it by sharing all the results you’ve gotten. And I’m not saying all at once, once a day is fine, especially in your stories.

2. Reading the Room

So when do you know someone is prepared to take the leap? Here are a couple things to look for:

The accidental tap. When someone accidentally taps your “want more info” button, I still hit them up. Even if they say, “No, I just want to support you,” I ask for the referral: Do you know anybody who would be interested in their messaging? Do you know anybody who wants to make more sales online?

They start asking questions about your content, your offer, what you do. They’re getting involved. They want your freebie. They’re asking intriguing questions. Once they start getting in your atmosphere, they’re really hot. They want to work with you, they’re just wanting to dip their toes in what you have.

They start to binge your stuff. I’ve seen people watch so many of my videos, and then I message them: Hey, I saw you were watching my videos. Is there anything specific you want to learn more about?

That opens the door to conversation. And that, my dears, is how I close people, I ask questions.

3. Permission-Based Questions

Permission-based selling is asking open-ended questions that give the other person permission to keep the conversation going.

Here’s the formula: One question, one pitch.

You end with one single question and you make a very short response. It’s not about you. You know your stuff. You know you have something amazing to offer.

But the problem is when you word-vomit all over people, it makes them run away.

I read in a book recently that over-explaining something shows lack of confidence. I highlighted that part and underlined it because it’s so true.

Over-explaining is you trying to convince them (and yourself) that you’re good. Most of the time, it’s because you’re not confident in who you serve, you’re not confident in how you do it, and you’re not confident in your message.

Here’s what permission-based questions look like:

• “So tell me what you’re going through. Does that sound right?”
• “Would you like to learn more?”

You’re showing that you’re listening. You’re being intentional. You’re clarifying. And you’re leaving the door open, putting the ball in their court.

If they say no? That’s fine. Move them into warm. They’re not ready yet. Just keep nurturing them.

It’s literally that simple.

Selling Is a Muscle You Have to Work Every Single Day

You won’t get better sitting on the sidelines thinking, I just need another course. I just need another worksheet. I just need another strategy, another tactic, another hack.

No, sweetie. You just need to get to work and do it, and be okay with failing. Be okay with someone saying no.

I missed out on $15,000 worth of sales when I was learning. Five people, $3,000 a piece. They either ghosted me or messaged me months later and said no.

You wanna know what I did besides crying?

I put my big girl panties on and reviewed all those recordings. I looked at where I failed, took what I learned, and said, I’m going to get better. I’m not going to let another 15K go by.

Have I had no’s since then? Yes. But I don’t care. A no today is a yes for tomorrow.

I had someone say no for a year. One day she said, “You know what? You’re right. It’s been a year and I have not seen improvement.” And now she’s crushing it.

Your Homework This Week

I’m gonna challenge you to post ONE piece of content that is social proof, whether it’s a testimonial, a screenshot, a voice note, even your own story.

Please don’t make it up. I’m begging you.

If you don’t have one from somebody else, share your own. I had to share my own before I got consistent sales on how I was doing certain things, and they got me more people wanting to work with me.

Share a testimony at least just once. And when you do it, go check who sees it in your stories. Who’s engaging?

Put them in your tracker. They’re your warm leads. They’re interested , they’re just waiting. Their timing just isn’t now.

Not Everybody’s a Client (But Everybody Can Be a Collaborator or a Connection)

I don’t believe in the “go for no” strategy. I used to do that during my MLM days. I messaged 100 people, got blocked by like 80, got maybe five people from that, and the other 15 were like, “No, leave me alone.”

That’s not what you’re gonna get here.

I believe in being intentional about who you talk to. Not everybody’s a client. But everybody can be a collaborator or a connection.

If you “go for no,” you’re going to burn those other two. They won’t want to collab with you and they won’t want to connect you with any other friends.

So be intentional. Go slow, be steady, and win the race.

Ready to Stop Guessing What to Say in the DMs?

If you’re tired of freezing up when it’s time to close, if you’re done overthinking every single message you send, and if you want to finally feel confident selling in the DMs without scripts or sleazy tactics, I’ve got two ways I can help you:

Spark the Conversation Challenge (FREE): A 5-day challenge where you’ll create your own copy mining blueprint in just 20 minutes a day. You’ll walk away with your audience’s exact language, phrases, and pain points to use in your content and DMs. lisbethgraham.co/freechallenge

The Phoenix Experience (Monthly Membership): By month one, you’ll be confident in who you serve, what their pain points are, and their exact language. By month three, you’ll have a message you can start promoting through your content, because we’ve taken the time to really get to know your audience and their voice. lisbethgraham.co/thephoenixexperience