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The Real Reason You’re Not Selling (And What You Think It Is)

Business Strategies, Target Audience

About an 8mins read

I’m honestly really excited to write this because it’s the kind of lesson you don’t learn from a cute content tip… you learn it from experience.

And if you’re a service-based business owner struggling with a lack of sales, I need you to hear me: it’s probably not what you think it is.

Because for the longest time, I thought my problem was content.

I thought my problem was consistency.

I thought my problem was platforms.

And none of that was the real reason.

How I Started (2020) + Why It Didn’t Work

Back in 2020, I started my business journey because a friend told me I should.

And coaching has become such a blessing in my life, but let me be real: for a lot of us, it kind of falls into our lap. That’s what it felt like for me.

I had major imposter syndrome, and she was like, “Trust me, you’re really good at what you do. You just have to have the confidence to step out there and show people how to do it.”

So I was like… okay. I’m gonna do this.

I started talking to people about how to start a business because that’s what I thought my coaching thing was supposed to be. I was like, “I started my business, I helped my friend make money, I helped her create content, I gave her ideas… I’m a few steps ahead, so I’ll help other people.”

And the truth?

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

And I think it’s because I started without doing the main thing I’m about to teach you.

The Lie I Believed: “If You Build It, They Will Come”

I really thought business was like:

  • put yourself out there
  • get an LLC
  • post online
  • build a thing
  • people show up

“If you build it, they will come.”

Except… they didn’t come.

No traction.

No consistent sales.

And instead of thinking, “Maybe I’m missing the foundation,” I assumed it had to be my content.

So I went harder.

I Tried EVERYTHING (And Still Didn’t Sell)

When I tell you I tried everything, I mean everything:

  • YouTube
  • emails
  • Facebook groups
  • TikTok
  • Instagram
  • Twitter (before it became X)
  • all of it

And it still didn’t get me anywhere.

I kept going like, “It has to work.”

But it wasn’t working.

I Helped People… But I Couldn’t Convert Them into Paid Clients

At one point, I got a few friends who were willing to be guinea pigs.

I was like, “Let me show you how to create a business.”

And they got results. I’m not going to lie.

But none of them paid me.

And I couldn’t convert anyone into an actual paid client.

That part matters because you can be helpful and still not have a business.

You can give value and still not be able to sell.

And if that’s you, keep reading.

I Stepped Back (2021) and Gave It to God

Then I got pregnant with my son, and I realized… I don’t think I’m gonna do this.

I already had two kids at that time, and I was like, “I’m just going to take a step back. This isn’t working.”

And I gave it up to God.

I was like, “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”

I Came Back (2023) And Made a Bigger Mistake

In 2023, I felt called back to it.

We had just moved to Florida. We had just moved into housing (we’re a military family). And I said, “I’m going to try again.”

This time I told myself: “I’m going to do it specifically for busy moms.”

And this brings me to something I need you to understand:

It’s Not About Demographics

It is not about demographics.

Let me say it again because someone needs to hear me:

It is not about demographics.

When you don’t know your target audience, your true buyer, you aren’t going to be able to sell consistently because you’re not speaking to:

  • their actual pain points
  • their real problem
  • the words they use
  • what they’re afraid of
  • what they want but don’t know how to ask for

In 2023, I thought “busy moms” was going to be it.

And I went all in.

The “I Hired a Whole Team” Season (And It Failed)

This is so crazy to even say out loud, but I hired:

  • a social media manager
  • a graphic designer
  • a video editor
  • a VA

My husband and I took our tax money, our savings, and put it into my business. We were like, “Use it all to hire and buy things.”

And I did.

It was tens of thousands.

And I failed really bad.

I felt so bad during that time because I had all this support… but still no clear direction.

Because I still didn’t understand my target audience.

I was using the demographic label “busy mompreneurs” and thinking that was enough.

It wasn’t.

The Big Sis Truth (2024): You’re Doing Too Much

At the beginning of 2024, my husband told me he was deploying for eight months.

And that was the same time my coach/mentor told me something that changed everything:

“Stop. Take a step back. Reassess. You’re doing too much.”

And I’m gonna give you big sis energy here, because this is what I had to hear too:

You ARE doing too much.

You’re super frazzled.

You’re almost burned out.

And you don’t even know what you’re doing.

And when you’re operating like that, you can’t sell consistently. Not because you’re not capable, but because there’s no foundation.

So what’s the foundation?

What “Target Audience” Actually Means

You’ve got to understand your target audience and I’m not talking about demographics.

I’m talking about:

  • What are they actually struggling with?
  • What keeps them up at night?
  • What do they want so badly but don’t know how to fix?
  • What words are they using?
  • What are their biggest joys and their biggest fears?
  • What are they saying online they need help with?

People give you the words. They tell you.

But we’re so busy doing, doing, doing… we don’t slow down to actually see what our audience wants.

And yes this takes time.

When I paused and stopped in 2024, it took me about three months to really understand what people were struggling with.

“I Just Wish I Started Clear” Isn’t Clear Enough

I remember hearing people say things like:

“I just wish I started clear.”

And at first, that wasn’t clear enough for me.

I was like, “Okay… what does that even mean?”

So I kept listening.

And what they were really saying was:

“I really wish I knew who I was talking to.”

When I finally realized that, I was like… oh my God.

This is it.

This is what I’m going to teach.

And I’ve been teaching it for going on two years straight because it works.

What to Do This Week (Your Homework)

Here’s what I want you to do.

This week, pause and listen to your people.

Ask them questions.

  • Ask on Threads
  • Ask in Instagram stories
  • Ask in comments
  • Ask in videos
  • If someone leaves a comment, ask them to go deeper

And this is the key question:

“What do you mean by that?”

Because a lot of people use broad phrases like:

“I need help with time management.”

But what does that mean?

Most of the time, the real truth is:

“I don’t have time for everything. I don’t have time for my business. I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time for that.”

And if you dig deeper, you’ll often find it’s not “time.”

It’s that they probably have:

  • no systems
  • no consistency
  • no structure supporting their life

The more you dig, the more you understand.

Why This Matters (If You Want Sales That Don’t Feel Like a Rollercoaster)

If you want consistent sales, your messaging has to land.

And for your messaging to land, you need clarity on:

  • who you help
  • what they want
  • what they’re struggling with
  • what they’re afraid of
  • what words they’re using

Because when you start using their words and speaking to the real problem… things change.

That’s when people feel like you’re in their head.

That’s when they trust you.

That’s when sales start to make sense.

If You Want Support

If you want help getting clear on your target audience, I have a 5-day challenge called Target Audience Alignment.

It’s email-based and walks you through exactly what to do so that by day five you have real clarity on:

  • who your actual target audience is
  • what their pain points are
  • how you can be the solution

(Depending on where you’re reading this, it may still be free but either way, it’s designed to get you results fast.)

Here is the link to access it

Final Word

You don’t need to do more.

You don’t need another platform.

You don’t need to “fix your content.”

You need to stop, slow down, and listen so you can build your business on a foundation that actually makes sales possible.

You can rise into alignment and build what you’re truly meant for.

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